We are continuing our 30 Days of Gratitude! If you missed the scoop about why we’re celebrating, be sure to check out Episode One. Yesterday, we talked about how to be grateful for church folks. Yep – church folks. Today, we’re going to be discussing Day Eight’s Topic: Misunderstood.
I don’t know of anything that bothers me more than being misunderstood. I think it bothers me so much because I work so hard to be very clear about who I AM and what I say. As a matter of fact, one of the things I’m often criticized for is how clear I make things. If you know me, you know EXACTLY what I mean.
Being misunderstood is frustrating, and it can also be very disappointing, depending on the situation. It is something we all face from time to time, and because of that, we should know how to handle it. Any time you’re involved in a misunderstanding (whether on your end or the other person’s end), consider it to be an open invitation to communicate. The invitation may not always be accepted, but remember that you’re not responsible for anyone else’s RSVP but your own.
Now let’s get into the three things to be grateful for.
Number One: Be grateful that God understands. I could honestly stop right there. The fact of the matter is that no matter how direct you try to be, no matter how clear you try to be, some people just won’t understand. They won’t understand your actions, they won’t understand your drive – they won’t understand you. Not understanding isn’t the issue, though. The issue is when someone assigns an incorrect perception and perspective to what they don’t understand. That is what causes the frustration. However, don’t let it get to you because the fact of the matter is that God understood it before it even manifested here. Now this doesn’t mean that you just jump up and say “Well I’m not gonna explain myself because God already understands!” No sir. No ma’am. You still need to seek to come to some level of understanding (even if it’s to agree to disagree)… but if you’ve done all you can do and you’re still misunderstood, you haven’t lost anything because God always understands. Got it? Awesome.
Number two: Be grateful that understanding is great, but it’s not required. As much as I would love for everyone to understand what I do and why I do it, they don’t have to. Just because someone is your friend doesn’t mean they’ll understand your drive. As a matter of fact, they may misunderstand it altogether. They may see your pursuit of your passion as a waste of time. They may see your dedication to singleness as a fear of rejection. You have to understand that you understand things based on your perception of the world. So if your perception of the world is that everyone who is confident is really lowkey arrogant, then everyone you meet who is confident, you’re gonna think they are arrogant. Your understanding is solely based on your perception of the world. That doesn’t mean that your perception is always right. The same is true for everyone else… and their understanding is not required. If they misunderstand your motives, intentions or whatever – seek to come to an understanding. If you misunderstand something about someone, seek to come to an understanding. However, if you are unable to do so, just remember that understanding is not required. Love is required. Compassion is required. Understanding is great, but not required.
Number three: Be grateful for self-reflection. I’m gonna tell you right now: Self-reflection is an AMAZING thing. Whenever you find yourself being misunderstood, the most amazing thing you can do for yourself is to look within. Did I present it the right way? Did I stand in my truth? Was my heart pure in this moment? Did I say/do what I said/did without malice? Was I clear? Did I cover all of the bases? Did I leave room for questions anywhere? Did I allow my personal issues to bleed over into the discussion? Was I fair? Was I gracious? Did I seek to understand? Evaluating yourself and reflecting on your actions is the best way to make sure that there’s nothing else you can do to resolve a misunderstanding. I was going to make that number one, but this is the one I want to leave a lasting impressing on your heart. When you find yourself being misunderstood, look within. Make sure you didn’t leave any stones unturned. Make sure you didn’t leave any doors open that should be closed. And after you do that, make sure you’re good. Make sure you’re not harboring any anger, resentment or anything else that would cause what you say/do to be misunderstood. If you say “good morning” in a hateful way because you’re not a morning person, don’t be surprised when what you mean to be a solution is interpreted as you snapping on someone. See how that works? That’s why we should always self-reflect. ALWAYS. You can’t fault others for not understanding you when you don’t understand yourself.
Have an AMAZING day and be GREAT! I speak life over you and everyone and everything connected to you! Catch me tomorrow!